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In the eighth grade, I drank sorrow mixed with contempt, and found solace in silence. I would spend my afternoons counting the cracks in the ceiling, connecting every fissure to make an imperfect constellation. I remember how my brother and I would lay down on the bedroom floor with our arms extended towards the sky, astronauts mapping out their route. The beauty that we found in the mundane — the ceiling, the couch, the walls — distracted us from our unfortunate reality. 

My parents separated when I was fourteen. I still remember how their arguments ricocheted throughout the house, their words like stray bullets, with me caught in the crossfire. Even when all went quiet, the echoes of their heartache haunted the halls. I knew the painful sting of divorce better than I knew myself: it had manifested like an ancient malady, inescapable and merciless.

When I went into Noah Baumbach’s Marriage Story, I was expecting to glimpse into my past. I anticipated disaster and weeping; I had never seen divorce offer any comfort. But upon my first minute of viewing, I knew that Marriage Story was different. It began and ended with love, despite the devastation.

Marriage Story focuses on Nicole (Scarlett Johansson) and Charlie (Adam Driver), a divorcing but loving couple. Nicole rose to stardom as a teenage actress, but now performs in indie stage productions in New York. Charlie composes and directs Nicole’s plays. The film begins with the pair telling the audience what they love about one another.

“What I love about Nicole: She makes people feel comfortable about even embarrassing things…. She really listens when someone is talking. She always knows what to do when it comes to difficult family matters. I get stuck in my ways and she knows when to push me, and when to leave me alone…. She is my favorite actress.”

Charlie’s monologue on Nicole

“What I love about Charlie: Charlie is undaunted. He never lets other people’s opinions or any setbacks keep him from what he wants to do…. He doesn’t look in the mirror too often. He cries easily in movies…. Charlie takes all of my moods steadily. He doesn’t give in to them or make me feel bad about them.”

Nicole’s monologue on Charlie

Charlie and Nicole’s sentimental soliloquies are punctuated by the impassive chill of a therapist’s office. The couple sit turned away from one another, with letters in their hands. Nicole refuses to read the letter aloud: it compliments Charlie in a moment of hidden contempt. Nicole initiated the divorce, and she doesn’t want to be lured back into dangerous complacency.

She can no longer be with Charlie: he inhibits her personhood through his own arrogance, a trait he considers necessary to be a successful director. He never loved her as much as she loved him — when she won an award for her acting, he suggested she funnel the proceeds towards his theatre company. In order to become a whole person again, Nicole must part from her life in New York. She flees to Los Angeles, where her family and her new career awaits. 

The only hitch in what could have been a perfect split is Nicole and Charlie’s son, Henry. He loves his parents with all this heart, no matter how much they fight for his time. His innocence is stressed in Marriage Story, but his perspective is seldom taken into account, as is common with most divorces. To parents, it is so easy to forget about the wellbeing of their children in the midst of a war.

Nicole and Charlie are torn by the continental rift between them — Charlie wants to live in New York with his theatre company, but Nicole’s new life is in Los Angeles. Though they initially agreed to keep matters civil, both Nicole and Charlie hire lawyers and attack each other at their throats. The lawyers, it seems, care nothing of Nicole, Charlie, or Henry, just about winning.

Even at Marriage Story’s climax, in which Scarlett Johansson (Nicole) and Adam Driver (Charlie) deliver a painfully realistic performance of an argument, the film is encapsulated in love. Charlie collapses to the floor weeping, and Nicole embraces him. In this moment of unique humanity, the audience forgets all conflict, and  is reminded of the love that exists between the pair. 

Marriage Story is unique in its authenticity. It illustrates the challenges of divorce expertly, but also redefines the love and the pain that can spawn from it. It is truly a remarkable movie: its emotional writing is complemented by an amazing score, and breathtaking cinematography. It is everything that one could ask for, and it’s all at your fingertips: watch Marriage Story on Netflix.

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